Soundtrack of my Life...

My friend, Emmy, has inspired me to start blogging again... And, I think I'm going to change my focus to Soundtrack of my Life. I've always wondered, if there was a movie made about me, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

So, I'm giving myself a little assignment to pick songs, and why I would want them to be in the soundtrack of my life, what period they stood for-- or what I'll hope they'll be. Now, don't judge the music. I know, I know, I have terrible taste. But I like it.

A lot has happened to me in my life; I wrecked a car when I was three or four into our landlord's house; my parents started their own business, then got heavily into drug dealing; I testified against them in court; I was placed in foster care; I got an amazing scholarship to go to an amazing school; I went to England and Australia; I was student body president and General Manager for the radio station; my senior year, my mom passed away ; I graduated, moved to Pittsburgh for a wonderful job, and less than seven months later--and 20 days before my 23rd birthday, my dad died in a house fire .

Since then, my brother's been arrested, I was accepted to grad school, was offered an amazing assistantship, and am now planning to move again. I sometimes feel like the luckiest girl to have all these opportunities, and other times, it's overwhelmingly depressing to think of all the terrible things that have happened. They say that writing is great therapy, and my best friend's mom, who is like a mom to me, insists that I can help people with my story. I don't know if that's true, but here it goes.

Opening credits: MGMT's Time to Pretend





I found this song with Pandora. I imagine a flashback-- starting where the story ends and going backwards-- and moving back toward the start...  moving from cities to towns, and through my various ages... with highlights... 

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah